Pregnant and Still Pro-Choice

Now that I got the old stuff out of the way (see last post), I can move on to my current thoughts and reflections which due to my current condition revolve around pregnancy. And I am speaking a topic on which people hold passionate opinions and am sharing how my opinion has been shaped by this new experience so I am a little nervous.

My grandma Margaret was a staunch and die hard Republican. She campaigned for Nixon back in the day. When I was studying at Georgetown, her friends commented that I’d one day be running against the likes of Hillary Clinton not imagining that any granddaughter of Margaret could NOT be a Republican. However, I clearly remember my grandma talking about her discontent with the Republican stance on abortion. My grandma often grumbled about male Republicans making decisions that impact women and that it’s a woman’s body and a woman’s choice.

I’ve been thinking about my grandma’s frustrations about men making policy decisions on issues they have no experience with because I am currently pregnant. And while I don’t think you have to be pregnant to have a stance on abortion, it has been an experience that has given me a new perspective on abortion. I am currently 20 weeks pregnant. Before getting pregnant, I had thought that pregnancy might make me question my pro-choice stance. I thought I would be overwhelmed by the miracle of a life growing within me and the different milestones reached (which I have been). What I hadn’t counted on, though, was all the ways the pregnancy would impact my bodily well being.

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Source: Wikipedia

I appear to be one of those woman that gets hit hard by morning sickness, otherwise known by anyone who has experienced it as every day pregnancy sickness. In my first trimester, I had nausea all day and I often violently threw up all that I drank or ate in the evenings. I went days where I spent up all my energy at work and found myself lifelessly living on my couch afterward (in between trips to the bathroom).

To fully set the stage for how awful this is, I will unapologetically share in detail. Imagine that you find yourself bowed in front of the toilet peeing yourself (even though you just went) because your body is so violently trying to empty it’s insides while everything you ate and then some (think acidic bile) projects out of you into the hated bowl. Then repeat multiple times a day multiple days in a row. Then imagine your hormones are all over the place and while you feel you ought to be happy at this blessed occasion that you’ve been dreaming of, you’re actually miserable, depressed, and fatigued (probably in part due to dehydration as not even the liquids can stay down). And the things that you know might help your mood (seeing friends, being social, getting out of the house) seem impossible due to the fatigue, nausea, and necessity to remain close to the toilet. All the while you learn through your pregnancy app about all the ways your body is and will continue to change to accommodate this precious life inside you.

For me, it was a physically violent and emotionally draining experience. And I experienced all this with my consent. I want this life to be born and to be its mother. I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to go through all this if it weren’t my choice. As a result, it is now staunchly my view that it is simply and plainly violence against a woman to force her to go through pregnancy when it is not her choice.

(I know that was a lot of details and build up to say just that one simple statement but there it is.)

(Also for any women reading this struggling with morning sickness, I stumbled across this blog post at Double the Batch and all the comments and they gave me a lot of much needed comfort.)

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3 thoughts on “Pregnant and Still Pro-Choice

  1. I experienced the same thing. If I wasn’t throwing up, I was having diarrhea. I honestly can’t name a time in my life where I was more miserable than those 7 week that I actually was pregnant before I lost it. It took still a month to a month and a half to maintain my emotions from all the hormones, and I pushed myself away from the love of my life and my family. It was so unnecessarily painful, and though I wanted to be a mother more than anything, I firmly agree it’s the woman’s choice. It’s such a difficult process.

  2. It is definitely a choice! I cannot believe that there are many “developed” countries still ban abortion. It is the women’s (and/or the couple’s) choice to make the decision. and it is goes beyond a decision that is driven by the human being selfishness and it definitely goes beyond “the physical violent” experience – as you put it in this blog- It actually goes much deeper than that. It is about giving a life, giving a life that is worth living. I strongly believe that woman should make that choice and decision and this is the most basic right! If a woman is not ready (emotionally, physically, financially) why would she keep a pregnancy that will lead to another miserable life of another innocent child. It breaks my heart when I read or watch in the news in some ( or many) very poor communities or families with 4 to 7 kids! why would a woman (or couple) DECIDE to bring children to that misery they are living in?! Why a single woman would accept to give life to a child who will never see his father?! maternity?? if a woman has a strong maternity feeling she should actually prevent that from happening for the love of the unborn child of hers.

  3. “I’ve been thinking about my grandma’s frustrations about men making policy decisions on issues they have no experience with because I am currently pregnant” – Actually, men do have some experience. Being pregnant isn’t an isolated/victimless activity. It’s not drug use or playing a video game. The person you force into existence is involved. You can’t pull them out of the equation.

    But I still lean towards pro-choice, because I find people who think life is a gift to be either silly, ignorant or cruel. Life is painful and terrible for most people. No one is being harmed by not being born, whereas birth exposes you to all the world’s suffering. No fetus is so vile, no fetus commits so many crimes that it deserves to be born unwanted. I’d rather spare people from living than forcing them to. The amount of people who wish they never existed is high enough (“Suicidal people really want to live!”, says the person who hospitalizes people against their consent)

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